We propose a systematic programme to search for long-lived neutral particle signatures through a minimal set of displaced Open image in new window searches (dMETs). Our approach is to extend the well-established dark matter simplified models to include displaced vertices. The dark matter simplified models are used to describe the primary production vertex. A displaced secondary vertex, characterised by the mass of the long-lived particle and its lifetime, is added for the displaced signature. We show how these models can be motivated by, and mapped onto, complete models such as gauge-mediated SUSY breaking and models of neutral naturalness. We also outline how this approach may be used to extend other simplified models to incorporate displaced signatures and to characterise searches for long-lived charged particles. Displaced vertices are a striking signature which is often virtually background free, and thus provide an excellent target for the high-luminosity run of the Large Hadron Collider. The proposed models and searches provide a first step towards a systematic broadening of the displaced dark matter search programme.