Humans often mate with those resembling themselves, a phenomenon described as positive assortative mating (PAM). The causes of this attract broad interest, but there is little agreement on the topic. This may be because empirical studies and reviews sometimes focus on just a few explanations, often based on disciplinary conventions. This review presents an interdisciplinary conceptual framework on the causes of PAM in humans, drawing on human and non-human biology, the social sciences, and the humanities. Viewing causality holistically, we first discuss the proximate causes (i.e. the ‘how’) of PAM, considering three mechanisms: stratification, convergence and mate choice. We also outline methods to control for confounders when studying mate choice. We then discuss ultimate explanations (i.e. ‘the why’) for PAM, including adaptive and non-adaptive processes. We conclude by suggesting a focus on interdisciplinarity in future research.